You've Been Zapped
by JuliaKerns5
Summary: [WARNING:Slash][RLSB][OneShot][MWPP era]Playing Zap, Remus admits, is a lot more fun then he had ever expected. It’s like he is being everybody’s matchmaker. There is weirdness and randomness and Remus can't help but wonder who has 'Remus' on their palm..


_Disclaimer_: I don't own any of it.

_Author_: Julia!!!! – known as JuliaKerns5

_Rating_: T – PG 13

_Genre_: Romance

_Shipping_: RL/SB and mild JP/LE

_Warning_: Don't waste my time with flames. Don't waste my time with all of you non-slashers out there. This is SLASH and flames are NOT appreciated on behalf of it.

_Summary_: It's another Friday night with butterbeer and a handful of bored Gryffindors… when somebody comes up with the idea to play Zap!

_How you play Zap_: Somebody writes Zap and 1 hour on your hand and then writes a name on the palm of your hand. You can let other people see your hand, but you can't look at your hand for the entire hour. If you do, you have to kiss and ask out the person. You can get Zapped on both hands, of course.

_AN_: R&R!

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Remus was watching Sirius and James, drawing tattoos on each other's arms with Muggle pens, out of the corner of his book. It was another one of those Friday nights when either James or Sirius or someone else forgot to plan a party or was simply too exhausted to initiate an impulsive one now.

Along with a patchwork of scribbles, James' arm contained a small tree with a heart engraved into it, the words Lily/James in the heart – a small Quidditch broom, and an in-the-making stag.

On Sirius' arm there was a dog, Quidditch robes, a wand, a piece of morning bacon, and… was that _Remus?_

Putting down his book and trying to casually stroll over to Sirius' arm, he knelt down besides the two as Sirius drew the antlers to the stag on James' arms. He looked at the skin.

There, with two parallel scars running down his face, wavy hair, and slightly wolfish looking eyes, was the exact replica of Remus drawn on Sirius' arm.

"You shouldn't draw on your skin, you know. It damages it."

The two of them looked over and scowled.

"Relax, Moony, we'll wash it off later."

Remus tried to grab the pen out of James' hand, and while James tried to stab his hand with it, he managed to slip it out of his fingers. "You have to stop playing around with Muggle tools! This is _pen_ for paper like _quills_ for parchment. It's like using a quill on – on – on an owl!"

"_Shut up_, Remus, I've used this pen before on me."

"Why do you even have a Muggle pen?"

James grinned sheepishly, some pride gleaming in his eyes. "I-I stole it from Lily… Isn't it a pretty pen?"

"Sure." Remus said, not really looking, and traipsed back to the armchair.

"No, no, no, wait Rem, come back here for a moment." Sirius said, smiling. Remus grumbled and walked over again. Sirius whispered something to James.

"Lemme see your hand." James asked, grabbing the pen from Sirius. Remus jerked his hand back.

"Come on, you can trust me." James coaxed, and Remus reluctantly thrust out his hand.

On the front he wrote in sloppy handwriting:

ZAP! One hour 

And then he turned it over to the palm, writing in the air so Remus wouldn't see what he would be writing. Smirking, he took his wand and pointed it to Remus' palm, where a flash of purple light zapped onto his hand.

Nothing happened.

"What now?" Remus asked, about to turn over his hand.

Both James and Sirius started roaring. Remus stared surprisingly at them, backing away a foot.

"_Don't turn your hand around, Remus!!!_" They both shouted, and Remus held his hands up defensively.

"Okay… okay… why, exactly?"

"Because it's Zap, Moony!"

"Who's Zap?" Remus asked, confused, his brow furrowed.

"It's not a _person_, Rem, it's a _game_, it's a _thing_."

"I don't know what the hell Zap is. You _know_ I don't like games–"

"No, this is really fun!" James explained eagerly.

"A person writes Zap on the back of your hand and then writes One Hour on it too… if you look at your hand, James wrote one hour on it, right?" Sirius continued.

Remus nodded, looking at his hand. It now said _57 minutes_. James started talking again.

"The charm that I put on your hand counts down from the hour… and on the opposite side of your hand, your palm, I wrote the name of a person. If you look at who the person is before the hour is up, you have to kiss them and then ask them out. If they say yes… you've been positively Zapped!"

"And if you look at your hand before the hour is up, beware some major embarrassment." Sirius said, chuckling.

"What? No! Unzap me!"

Both of them held up their hands defensively. "No, no, once you've been Zapped you've been Zapped, Rem! And you can't ask people to tell you who it is. Other people can see your hand, but you can't."

Groaning, Remus was about to consider punching James (since he was the one who had Zapped him in the first place) but instead he grabbed Sirius' hand with a manic laugh and grinned at James in a very evil way. He jerked the pen off of the table and wrote quickly on Sirius' hand:

Zap! One hour 

And on his palm – while James watched with his mouth open – Remus flipped over his hand and shielded what he wrote from both of their views.

Lily Evans 

Smiling manically, he gave a very 'muahahahah' laugh and clapped James over the shoulder. "Eat your heart out, buddy." He said, getting out his wand and flashing a purple light over to Sirius' hand, which hit perfectly. James ran up to Sirius immediately, jerking up his hand and shouting out. It seemed like James got a larger shock than Sirius probably would in an hour's time.

Walking away to distract himself, he suddenly felt something large and bulky pounce on him from the back.

Squealing like a little girl, Remus tried to flip over to see the person, but he only saw blackness as he hit ground. He heard girls scream, and the heavy person being lifted off of him with plenty of girlish screams of exasperation and fury.

"What do you think you're doing, pouncing on Remus like that–"

"You prat, James–"

"Oh my god, is Remus all right?"

"What the hell did you do that for?"

"You could have seriously hurt him, what is your problem, Potter–"

Wincing, Remus got up, where he was immediately surrounded by concerned girls.

"Please, please, I'm fine – who was that?"

He looked over their shoulders to see James shouting at all of the furious girls who were scolding him about snippets like:

"The bastard… look what he wrote on Sirius' hand… we were playing Zap… he's making Sirius kiss Lily…"

He laughed. "Oh. That. Wanna play Zap?" He asked cheerily to the girls, who exchanged confused glances.

"Er, sure."

Smiling, he took one of their hands and wrote in cursive on the front:

Zap! One hour 

And he charmed each and every one of their hands after marking their palms with various names.

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Playing Zap, Remus admits, is a lot more fun then he had ever expected. It's like he was being everybody's matchmaker.

Even though he never told them secrets in return, most of the girls found him 'more sensitive and understanding' than the other boys, and therefore trusted him to tell Remus who they had a crush on. Remus kept their secrets, and didn't even tell Sirius or James or Peter. Those three didn't even know that most of the confided in him. And of course, all of the Gryffindor boys talked to Sirius and James about who _they_ liked, and Sirius and James couldn't hold in secrets and gossip. They always told Remus, so Remus almost always knew who everybody liked… updated versions and all.

And taking advantage of that was quite fun, as he was trying to pair up everyone with their crushes and their infatuations… if they would peek at their hands early they should at _least_ get to kiss and ask out who they wanted to.

But James and Sirius were also Zapping people, so usually on one hand, everybody had one of Remus' Zaps, and on the other hand, they had a JamesZap or a SiriusZap, and they weren't into the matchmaking. They were into randomness and pairing popular people with the geeky disgusting people… and Remus couldn't help but wonder who had gotten _Remus_ on the palm of their hand.

Remus' hand showed _37 minutes_ when somebody in the bustling and laughing (and Zapped) common room had decided to look at the palm of their hand and simply sneak a peek, thinking that nobody would notice… and also thinking that the purple flash that they had gotten on their hand was only for countdown purposes and _not_ for those sneak-a-peek-early people who would be getting more than they had bargained for.

Immediately, a large siren went off in the room and the boy's face turned beet red, when everybody stared at his vivid green and blue hair, tripled in length and down to his waist. Everybody gave a roar of laughter, and at that moment Sirius fought his way through the crowd, swinging his hair out of his face and clutching on to a sweaty butterbeer bottle. He clapped the boy on the shoulder, smiling.

"So, I think you've met the end of the tunnel, friend… we all _told_ you that this would not end well, and something embarrassing would turn out of it… hopefully all the rest of you have learned your lesson," He gave them all something that was supposed to be a piercing warning glare, but turned out to look like a seductive smoldering glance. "And ladies, you're hair _does_ change colors too, but it goes extra short. And…" He gave the boy a glance. "It doesn't wear off for a month. If you don't kiss the person you got on your palm, then it'll get worse… If you do kiss them and ask them out, it'll go away. Better luck next time, pal, _so don't cheat_."

And everybody started talking again, in a buzz of making sure to _not_ look at their hands… Remus was itching to look at his. Obviously James or Sirius would give their _best friend_ an antidote, no? What harm would it do?

But he fought the urge and instead walked over to the boy with the bright blue and green hair, smiling.

"They aren't exactly clear in their warnings of what happens if you cheat, are they?" The boy said bitterly.

"It'll wear off. If I find an antidote, you'll be the first one I go to." Remus said kindly, smiling.

"So are they your friends?"

"Yeah. A couple of pranksters, aren't they?"

The boy looked at Remus a little oddly. "I heard they're brilliant. Is it true that Potter and Black pulled the swamp stunt in the beginning of the school year near the Great Hall?"

Remus smiled. "That was me and Sirius." He said.

"Really? You're in their type of league?"

"Well, I'm their friend but I'm not exactly a full time prankster." Remus said.

"You always find those secret passageways. Your help must make them smart." The boy said, looking at Remus fascinatingly.

"Not really. They're the clever ones." Remus brushed off. There was a small pause.

"So who did you get?" Remus asked.

"What do you mean?"

"You're palm. Who was it?"

The boy sighed and stuck his palm out to Remus. The name:

Andromeda Black 

Stuck out in bright red pen. James' work.

James had the red pen, Sirius had the black pen, and Remus had the blue one.

"Andromeda? But – she's a Hufflepuff."

"So?"

"I thought we would be sticking to only Gryffindors?" Remus asked.

He shrugged. "I dunno. Andromeda Tonks isn't a Gryffindor, now is she?"

There was another pause.

The boy tilted his head. "So I heard why Black has finally stopped shagging all of those girls… how is it going?"

Remus looked over. "How is _what_ going?"

The boy blushed. "Come on, Lupin, you know what I'm talking about… and it's okay. I don't judge you just because you and Sirius are gay–"

"Wait, _what_? You think that Sirius and I are together?" Remus interrupted quickly, holding up a hand.

"Well, yeah."

"Who told you that?"

"Well…" He said again. "Rumor gets out. It's really okay–"

"It's real shit," Remus cut across. "Sirius and I aren't going out."

"You aren't?" Remus shook his head vigorously. "Well then. This is awkward. I'll – I'll talk to you later, Remus."

He stood up with an odd glance at Remus and disappeared into the crowd, Remus motionless and confused on his seat.

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"Sirius, did you tell anyone that I was gay?" Remus asked urgently.

"What? No!" Sirius shouted, indignant.

"Not even James?"

"No!"

"Not Peter?"

"No, Remus, I didn't tell anyone! Why?" Sirius said.

Remus looked uncomfortably over his shoulder. "Because that kid with the flaming hair thought you and I were… were…"

"Were _what_?"

"Were…" Remus closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. "_together_." He finished.

"Huh. Well, that's interesting… er, but I swear I didn't tell anyone, maybe someone else did. Uh – I need to ask James something–" Sirius said hurriedly, rushing off to James in the middle of crowd rather hastily.

Sighing, Remus looked down on his hand, where it read _20 minutes_ on the front. He ached to turn it over and look at the name on his palm, but didn't.

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Anybody in the common room.

Anybody in the year.

Anybody in the _school_ could be on Remus' palm.

He was itching to look at his palm, but so many people were watching him, and Sirius was even talking to him, but he didn't know what Sirius was saying.

"Oh, I really wanna know who is on the back of my palm…" Remus said, interrupting Sirius' conversation.

Sirius sighed. "So do I… I actually think I know who it might be."

"Who?"

Sirius' head snapped down, and then he shook his head. "Never mind…"

Remus shrugged. "Does James have an antidote?"

"No, he doesn't. That guy is gonna have to stay with his hair for a month… and if he doesn't kiss whoever is on his palm, then his skin is gonna change color too…" Sirius shuddered. "James told me."

"Andromeda Black the Hufflepuff is who he got."

"My cousin Andromeda? Andromeda Black, as in Andromeda who is dating Ted Tonks?" Sirius asked.

"Yeah. He told me."

"Is he gonna ask her out?"

"I don't think so. He's just sulking." Remus said, pointing over to the armchair.

Sirius scowled. "He didn't have to get Zapped if he didn't want to…" He muttered irritably.

"I suppose. I wish I knew who _I _got."

"Don't risk looking." Sirius said, smiling."

"I know…"

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"I tried jinxing my hand into fast forwarding the time on the countdown." Sirius whispered to Remus, sitting down to him by the stairs. All the others were still being Zapped and walking around excitedly with friendly talk. Nobody but them and funky-hair-kid was actually sitting down.

"And?"

"It only went forward a minute. I'm equal to yours now." Sirius said.

"How did you do it?" Remus said. "I'll take as many minutes less as I can."

Sirius laughed. "I don't even know how I did it."

Both of them smiling, they went back to watching the time on their hands.

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"What's the time on yours?" Remus asked urgently. They were actually hiding along the dark staircase that led from the dormitories to the common room. They had closed the door to the common room to the staircase and the dormitory to the staircase, so they were in complete darkness except for the light from Sirius' wand.

"Three minutes. Yours?"

"Three."

They looked at each other, nodded, and went back to their hands.

"I can't do this." Sirius said, throwing up his hands.

"No, Padfoot – you _can't_ go out in public looking like a punky hippie. No, I won't let you Sirius–"

"Then you tell me who is on my palm." Sirius said, flashing his palm in Remus' face. Remus looked away.

"No, cause then I'll have to tell you. I don't wanna know who's name is on your palm." Remus said firmly, not looking.

"But you wrote it!" Sirius screamed.

"The other hand, Siri. You showed me your other hand, not the left one. You got Zapped _twice_."

"Can I see yours?"

"No," Remus said. "Nobody has seen mine."

"Fine! Then I'll have to do this and turn over my hand!"

"NO! Sirius, don't–"

But as both of their hands reached the one-minute left point, Sirius flipped over his hand and gasped in the darkness, his wand falling down the stairs as Sirius stood up and accidentally knocked it downwards. It fell down with a clunk and unignited. Remus screamed in the darkness, and groped for his own wand, just to see how ridiculous Sirius looked and exactly _how_ to get out of the dark staircase.

He looked up and saw the shadow of Sirius look at his left hand… he didn't look at the right one which Remus had written 'Lily Evans' onto. He might have forgotten.

He was about to charge up the stairs to see where Sirius was, but he felt something dark rush towards him and fall on top of him at the end of the staircase. He fell on the floor for the second time today, but instead of girls taking James off of him, he felt Sirius pin his hands above his head in the dark and kiss him fiercely on the lips.

"Mmph! Siri – mmph!" Remus said, fighting against the kiss, but Sirius forced down his hands and kissed him harder, until the air was out of both of their lungs and he ripped away.

"Will you go out with me, Remus?" He asked breathlessly.

Remus laid quietly at the bottom of the staircase, Sirius' breath still on his lips.

"Sirius," He said. "Did you get Zapped?"

"Maybe. By James."

"So is that why you are asking me out? Was I on your palm?"

"Yeah you were on my palm. But that's not why I'm asking you out."

"Is that why you kissed me?" Remus asked.

Sirius laughed shortly above him.

"_Please_, Remus. Would I do that to you just because of a game?" He asked, and then kissed him hard again on the mouth, Remus responding this time as Sirius laid his hands on his waist and massaged his hipbone.

"You didn't answer my question." Remus said when they broke apart again.

"I love you Moony." Sirius said, considering this an answer, and kissed him again, Remus' eyes wide. Remus kissed him back fiercer this time, both of them fighting with their tongues and making each other moan.

"You know what, Siri?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you too."

Just then the door to the stairs opened and James gasped above them. Remus sprang up, Sirius doing the same, even though they couldn't hide their flushed and breathless faces.

"I-I just wanted to r-remind you that your minutes are up… you can look at your hands now."

"I already looked." Sirius said, smiling and running a hand through his hair.

"Then how come you don't have funky hair?"

"Because I kissed the person on my palm… it goes away after you do that, Prongs… the only reason that funky kid still has the weird hair is because he hasn't kissed Andromeda!"

James still gaped at them. "Who wrote it on your hand, Pads?"

"I dunno…"

Remus, smiling, flipped over Sirius' other hand, where the words _Lily Evans_ still rang brightly. But when you turned Sirius' hand to the front, it said:

Zap! 

_0 minutes!!!_

"Sirius!" Remus said. "You don't have to kiss Lily! You didn't look at your right hand when you looked at your left hand even though you had been Zapped twice!"

James looked relieved. "Oh, thank _god_. She kissed me, you know that?? She said that Remus wrote James Potter on her palm!"

Remus smiled, nodding.

Sirius, though, flipped over Remus' hand, where the shining words _Sirius Black_ were glistening in red._ Red…_ that was James' color.

Remus looked over and smiled at James, who was grinning sheepishly.

"I… I wrote it on both of your palms. I knew about Sirius liking you, so I decided to help him."

Grinning at Sirius, Remus leapt up and kissed him, wrapping his hands around his neck. "I've liked you for a while too."

"How come you didn't tell anyone?"

"I was scared. But James helped me anyway."

Smiling, James put a hand on each of their shoulders.

"Sirius Black… Remus Lupin… you've _both_ been officially Zapped."

_Fin_.


End file.
